Sunday, January 14, 2007

Life's Like That

Everyone needs a person to follow in certain areas of their lives. This said person is known as a leader. A leader is one who has influence or power over a group of people or organisation. Being the undecisive people that we are, sometimes we need leaders to guide us and to help us make important decisions. More importantly, they are also a representative of a body of people, one speaking for many... I just read about a leader-friend of mine who got a dressing down for his inadequacies as a leader. That made me think : what then, defines a good leader?

Life is not a walk in the park. It's more akin to trekking through the Amazon where anything can happen. It may be uneventful at times but in a split-second, you may be attacked by army ants or poisoned by the sap of a vine. Humans are naturally resistant to change, partially due to the 'Neanderthal' gene in us. As such, we often try to stay in control of our lives by working to make sure that in whatever we do, nothing should go wrong. However, life is so unpredictable because of the random people around us. They, too, are trying to stay in control. If purposes differ, something will go wrong either for either the protagonist or the antagonist. This is the one basic fact of life that we have to accept. That no matter what you do or how much you try to prevent something from happening, things will go hay-wire. Which explains the reason for Murphy's law. It states that whatever can go wrong will go wrong and at the worst possible time. Despite it's pessimistic nature, it's a popular western adage. The reason for it's popularity is simple: Most of the time, the Law holds true. Humans are imperfect in nature and so whatever they make or control are imperfect too. Computers will crash, power and phone lines will be jammed and people will also say the wrong things. So since everything is bound to go wrong, why isn't everything in a total mess? Why is it that we're still alive? More specifically so, why is it that even though someone can forget to do this or that, the event can still run smoothly? Why does everything work out? I have no idea but i do have a theory on this. It's chaos. Since everything is just that darn chaotic, the mess will result in a harmony that was 'unintentionally' created. Chaos is a result of change. Living things need change in order to survive as change forces them to adapt. If there was no change, the slightest deviation in the environment will result in death. On the other hand, too much change and organisms will not be able to adapt in time, also resulting in their demise. Constant change keeps everything in check. Therefore harmony can be found in chaos.

In the midst of chaos, leaders are needed. They are the ones who are sure of what they are doing for they need to be the ones who guide others. Some people believe that a leader must have a certain set of qualities and values. Most of them already have an idea what kind of leader they want to follow and this is usually in line with their own principles. I, however, choose to think that leaders are needed in circumstances and since circumstances differ, so are the leaders who are required. There is no 'model' leader. As long as that person can influence others and settle issues and problems, he/she's considered a leader already. The psychology of leadership is as follows: Different environments bring out different emotionally-charged facets of people's characters. Leaders have to be aware of what situations bring out which emotions in people and with this awareness, affect people to reach a common goal.

In school, we are often 'encouraged' to choose our leaders through voting. Whether it's CCA leaders, student councillors or even the class committee, everyone votes for the leader he wants. One reason for this is so that people will know that they have elected the "people's leader". One who is not simply appointed but selected by the majority. However, i feel that even as 17-18 year-olds, we are not ready for democracy. Often, we tend to choose those who can ra-ra the crowd, the more popular ones or those who can give a better speech. Democracy has been degraded to the state where it's no longer a mass swift evaluation of character but a popularity contest. He who is more popular and has more 'contacts' is the leader. At first, everyone will be alright with the newly elected leader, supporting him in his role. After some time, people start to get unhappy about him and that's when they start criticising him. That's what happened to my friend. Granted, when people are unsatisfied with you, they have the right to criticise you so that you can improve. I don't completely understand my friend's situation but i do understand this: Criticise constructively. Know yours and the 'victim's' limits. If he's criticised to the point where he's feeling miserable about himself, you're nothing more than a bully. If it's a group of people who are victimising him, few would dare stand up against the majority and defend him. Ask yourself if you're giving him a chance to defend himself or even to apologise. You've had your chance to choose your leader. If you really think that you can do so much better than he, why didn't you stand for election? If you did but lost to him, accept that he won you fair and square. As a fellow peer, you should try to help him and not to gang up on him and make him feel lousy about himself. To my friend-- all this is part of life man. No matter what you do, people will be dissatisfied with you. Remember this: you do not live to please people for you are no slave. Do the best you can and never regret what you do. Take all forms of insult and criticism with a pinch of salt. After all, it's only a person's point of view. So what if many people share the same point of view? It doesn't prove that they're right. Of course, if you know that all they want is to bring out the best leadership qualities in you, do some soul-searching and see if you really do need a change in mindset. One of the things i like about you is that you're able to see things from a different angle and that you know how to deal with different people. If those qualities don't make you a true leader, i don't know what else will. I know you'll do your best in your CCA. Gambate ne!!

Just something random... People tend not to like pessimistic leaders for they do not give their followers hope. I'm a huge follower of Murphy's law and i admit that i am a pessimist. Since i'm such a pessimist, why is it that i get chosen as a leader more often than should be? Maybe i'm more of the sai kang kind... Something i'm used to doing for the past 7 years... More to come, definitely... Yeah... just a random thought... Anyway, i was once asked if i saw the glass as half-empty or half-full... In response to that, i said that i saw it as half-full but poisoned... Things are not always as beautiful or good as they seem... Be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.